Blizzard has announced Diablo III at the 2008 Blizzard Entertainment Worldwide Invitational and launched the official website for the game that includes lots of media, including a fairly beefy gameplay video that shows the game in a playable build that already looks great.

Watch the trailer below and go check out the new Diablo III website.

Besides two weapons (maybe), everything else seems balanced and overly fun to use. You can kill anybody, any boss, with anything but if you were more strategic about your gameplay, certain weapons work better for certain situations. In which ever way you decide to obliterate your enemies, all of ends in a savory mess of guts.

The action is fast as hell and I’ve heard some say it’s “frantic.” True, it is in a sense - this is a not a game for those with a normal heart rate of 60 or below. It’s so fast that when you’re done clearing out a room of bad guys, you sometimes have no idea what direction to go to next. That’s ok though being that this sequel is a lot more linear than the last one. There’s not much back-tracking, it’s right-out kill, kill, kill, and look around a bit for a key. Not to say that there are some annoying and mundane processes. The same old formula of finding Key A to open Door B still persists and not with any innovation from the last game or any other with this similar routine.

The combat, speed, gore, and satisfaction of being a badass ninja is the only thing that keeps you going. The replay rewards are awful. At least in the last game, you could unlock the Dark Dragon Blade, which is something that changes the dynamics of the gameplay. In this one, you get different costumes and 360 achievement points. If you’re a 15-year-old kid with no bills to pay, I guess that’s a notable way to make something of yourself. You’ll be the big swinging dick on the Ninja Gaiden II leader boards but that doesn’t get invited to parties.

Even as an oldschool fanatic, I can’t see myself replaying this game over and over to obtain numbers that don’t pay off. I wouldn’t mind trying a few harder runs but if it’s just for different costumes and gamer tags, I think I’ll just go masturbate. At least there’s a conclusion to that.

Along with this let-down of a replay value, there is the same crap from the last game. A horrible storyline with one of the worst art directions I have seen. The monsters look like they’re rendered from 90’s Bryce fanboys and everyone is incredibly huge with their biceps, hips, or tits. I certainly wouldn’t be hiring the likes of Sonya to go into battle for me.

She’s got a $90 hair job and clothes that only meth strippers find classy. That’s not a warrior, that’s a warrior’s off-night in a brothel. Even Ryu doesn’t make sense. What fucking ninja wears a shiny metal head piece? I thought they were suppose to be stealth and sleek, not big and flamboyant. I can’t even imagine how the other unlock-able costumes make him stand out like a retard on a ferris wheel.

I thought the music in the beginning was ok. It was your standard game music with exciting feats and an epic approach. Some levels were quiet, which built a great atmosphere but overall it was ordinary. It was a lot better than the last game, which was some of the worst music I’ve ever heard. I’ll say it again and maybe I’m saying this as an oldschool fanatic but the original Ninja Gaiden games for the NES had some of the best tunes ever. It’s stupid for them to not revive any of those pieces.

To break it down, the game is a lot of fun. It uses the same combat formula from the last one and exceeds with great results but the same bullshit is there. The art direction is cheesy, tacky, and un-creative — and what’s with the shitty bevel and embossed typewriter font on the UI? Yes, the game is bloody but why did they need to splatter blood across the pause screen dashboard. We get it, it’s bloody…now be more creative!

The replay had degraded incredibly. If another one comes out, I will still play it for the new weapons and combat but beyond that, Team Ninja really needs to find some in-depth writers and concept artists to boost them to a newer level that they deserve.

Bad guy aliens slap helmets on dinosaurs to control them for their own evil bidding. Good guy humans train dinosaurs with kindness and finger snaps. Humans are stupid because this method limited their range of “trainable dinosaurs” down to the wussy, vegetarian dinosaurs.

Tiger Sharks

This one didn’t last, I only managed to catch about 3 episodes before it disappeared from Saturday mornings. Another rip-off of Thundercats but instead of Furries, it’s adults in tight shark suits or some shit.

Skeleton Warriors

That sweet 3D skull head at the beginning blew my mind when I was kid but the rest of the shows sucked.

Centurions: Power Xtreme

3 white guys in mech suits racking up the city’s repair bill by the millions. It’s fine that you fight evil but stop blowing everything up in your wake. Eventually the civilian death toll was too high to have these guys back for another season.

Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors

What in the hell is going on with this one? It’s a horrifying Transformers concept and it looks like it’s done by the same people who did Captain Planet.

M.A.S.K.

Besides the sweet intro, this is probably the most unflattering imitation to Transformers. These vehicles don’t transform into robots, they transform into other vehicles! And let’s put creepy helmets on everyone for good measure.

C.O.P.S.

This opening never got boring. The show and its characters lives up to the intro.

Silverhawks

Another Thundercats-influenced cartoon but this one has a guy in shiny armor wearing a cowboy hat and rocking the hell out!

Visionaries

This opening is awesome and it gave off the impression of a more dark cartoon but unfortunately that’s not the case. It is the most slow and retarded show I remember.

Pirates of Dark Water

This actually aired in the early 90’s and it showed a good level of evolution from its predecessors. Pirates was DnD before I knew what DnD was and has been an absolute favorite for anybody growing up in this generation.

The starting battle was exciting, but it quickly lost its luster with the most mundane turn-based exchange of blows. There was nothing special to learn or anything unique to look out for. Now, I love turn-base RPG’s, but this was the most primitive hit-and-get-hit formula. I understand that they didn’t want to bring out all of the big guns at once so I waited for the next battle. I was back in the village talking to people about other people that I should talk to. The most exciting part about this adventure was kicking trash cans (literally) to find magic components and items for my quests. What if I wanted a half-eaten burger instead of Phoenix Down? And who the hell throws away perfectly good life potions?

As I was unfolding the plot, I really wanted to understand what was going on and read everything. Scene after scene I was listening and reading about some sort of conspiracy that involves “Magic Energy.” Of all the stupid names I’ve heard for magic in RPG’s, this one leveled itself beyond 99.

Just when I thought I was going to do battle, I had to read more screens of text. At this point, the beer is wearing off and so is my patience but I wanted to stick it out a little more. Nope, here comes more reading, listening and walking around a village full of overly happy children, confused soldiers, and citizens that never sit. Why don’t they ever sit down? Let’s go through a quick checklist.

• Flamboyant outfits that embarrass you to play the game in front of others (check!).
• The hero having longer hair than the female characters (check!).
• A mysterious hero with amnesia (check!).
• Shitty name for the use of magic (check!).
• A conspiracy involving magic and its uses (check!).
• Typical Final Fantasy victory tune (check!).
• Kicking trash cans to get magical potions and items (check!).
• A lot of fucking reading (check!).
• Loud-mouth party member that is gayer than the hero (check!).

This list could go on and on but I only played it for 30 minutes and 22 minutes of it was confirming that checklist. This is not an American bash on Japanese RPG’s but for god sakes, can they come up with better formulas? If not, how about something with a completely new art direction.