This Game Tastes Like Crap

Tray — If you find yourself drinking Budweiser chances are you’re broke and in pursuit of a cheap, quick drunk. If this is you, there’s also a good chance that you’re a pretty big Nascar fan. I recommend you fire up the latest version of Nascar on your XBOX, pick your favorite redneck and promptly drive yourself full speed into a wall.

This should sufficiently accentuate the Budweiser drinking experience for you! While I’m not above drinking Bud every once in a while just to get a cheap buzz, I’m not willing to make it routine like say, driving in circles for 3 hours.

Corbin — The bad thing about drinking Bud is that you’ll keep drinking in hopes that either a) it will begin to taste better or b) you will just become so drunk that you don’t care. After slamming 6 tall cans, you won’t need a NASCAR game to make you feel like you’re going around in circles. Puking out the backseat of your friend’s car is like NASCAR and X-Games clashing together in your head.

Tray — Personally I think Pabst is over hyped for what it is - cheap nasty beer. Another thing I think is grossly over-hyped is any of the Halo games. Sure I like to get plowed off of cheap beer sometimes, just like I enjoy shooting aliens in the face. That doesn’t mean that I find either of these things actually impressive. Strange coincidence how douchebag fratboys seem to enjoy both of these things! Pre-order Halo 3 to get a limited edition trucker hat!

Corbin — I think Pabst goes better with Pro Wrestling. Playing 3D games while drinking beer is a bit much for me. Playing 3D games and drinking bottom-of-the-barrel beer is just punishment. With Pabst being the worst, you have to balance it out with something more pleasant like Pro Wrestling. It had neon characters to guide your swaying eyes and aerial moves like the “Back Brain Kick” to keep you laughing, helping you forget that you’re drinking carbonated piss.

Tray — Nothing is better than a crisp refreshing beer on a hot Summer’s day and there’s nothing more refreshing on those days than a cold Corona. Okay, maybe Pacifico, but that’s just personal preference talking. If I had to pick a game that did this for me, it’d have to be Mario Kart. If you can’t enjoy a crisp and refreshing game of Mario Kart you’re probably a jerk.

Corbin — I adhere to this one. I don’t care what “real” beer enthusiasts think about Corona because they’re not playing Mario Kart. Even after 8-12 Coronas, I’m still able to beat Rainbow Road using Donkey Kong on the 300 Circuit.

Deadly Towers Pork n Beans Lager

Tray — Oh jesus no please.

Corbin — How in the hell did this get in here?

Tray — Natty Ice is some dangerous shit. After about 8 or 9 of these things you will start getting beligerent and start becoming what we like to call “Prison Drunk”. If you’re not sure what I mean by that, try downing a 12 pack sometime. I recommend being away from friends and family when you do.

As for what game to compare it to? Thats easy. The GTA games have been training you for Natty Ice killing sprees for years!

Corbin — I like to play gnarley side-scrolling shooter games like Gradius IV. Why? Because I hate Natty Ice. Trying to dodge 8000 bullets with retina-burning graphics can make anyone puke and puking on Natty Ice is a good thing. It’s like beer bulimia.